Well, yeah. I think I'm about done.

I've pretty much had it with trying to be peacekeeper and make sure everyone is good and in the know. Seems to me that all I've done lately is make things worse when I should have just kept my damn mouth shut. So that's what I'm going to do from now on. I'm just gonna do my own thing and everyone else can go fuck themselves. I suppose. That's probably pretty harsh, but it's the way I'm feeling about now. I've spent far too much time on other people and things, mostly online pursuits - stuff that really will just take care of itself without me, and far too little on the things that matter. I'm friggin tired of trying to be all things to all people.

So. I'm done. I'm wiping my hands of it all, or as much of it as I can stand, anyway. Not really the thing I wanted to do, but enough is enough.

...so maybe one of these days I'll get off my ass and actually learn to write something. And it's not that I can't, because I *can*, but I seem to be finding out that the more I write and polish, the more I *need* to write and polish. Seems to be a bit of a viscious circle, really. I think I'm my own worst critic in many respects, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm still a hack.

(Or that writing smutty bits is fun - although a lot harder than I thought it would be...purple prose, anyone?)

The hardest part of it all ,though, is just finding the *time*. I usually do my writing at night (or in small snippets at work - i.e. lunch), but finding an evening after a full day of work and getting both kids to bed with or without mr mynfel, (depending on his schedule) where my brain isn't much more than a bowl of pudding is getting harder and harder to do. I seem to be able to write more or better when I have someone else to write with, but that comes with its own set of challenges (many of which also involve timing), so I think I may need to see about trying to actually finish something up on my own. Even if it's only 25,000 words or so...just so I have something *small* to polish. My vision, it seems, is so much larger than what my brain is physically capable of producing given the time I have to do it in.

Sad, really. If I could manage to grow a pair, I'd consider quitting work to try it for real...but the kids needs to eat...and they're only this small once - so I suppose I ought to enjoy them while I can.

Off to the showers and a b-day party. W00t!

I hate the dentist. I mean, I *really* hate the dentist. But what I hate more is being such a dumbass that I sit in in traffic for over an hour and 1/2 to get to the dentist, just to find out that my appointment was...the next day.

*sigh*

Gah. Did manage to get back there today tho, and now I get to go back next week. Stupid cavities...

But that's ok. I'm going to Vegas, baby! Vegas!